Module 2 · Lesson 1
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Almost every family who starts toilet training hits a wall somewhere. Two brilliant weeks, then a fortnight of puddles. Dry at nursery, soaked at home. A child who was proud on Monday and refuses to sit by Friday. None of this means it has gone wrong — it means you've reached the part where consistency matters more than momentum.
When training stalls, it is almost never because a child has decided to be difficult. It is because a skill that needs hundreds of repetitions has had a few dozen. Reframe every setback as data: what changed, what was happening, what came just before. Then go back to more practice, not more pressure.
A child deep in play genuinely does not register a full bladder — their attention is a torch beam and it is pointed elsewhere. Offer the toilet at natural pause points: waking, before and after meals, before leaving the house, between activities. Roughly every one to two hours at the start. You're not asking them to remember; you're doing the remembering for them.
Wee or tinkle. Poo or number two. Potty or toilet. It doesn't matter which you choose — it matters enormously that everyone chooses the same one. Write your words, your steps and your reward system down and hand a copy to every adult in your child's week.
Sometimes refusal isn't about the toilet at all. It's one of the very few things a small person can fully control, and if the only intense attention in the day arrives after an accident, the maths makes sense to them. So flip it: big, warm, specific attention for sitting and trying, and a calm, boring, blame-free clean-up for accidents. Never a battleground.
Constipation means stools that are hard, infrequent or painful to pass — and it is one of the most common reasons toilet training grinds to a halt. Common causes during training include holding on (because sitting feels new or a bit scary), changes in diet or fluid, unfamiliar toilets, anxiety, illness, and some medications.
A note on when to seek help. Anything persistent — ongoing pain, blood, soiling that won't settle, weight or appetite changes, or a child who is clearly frightened of opening their bowels — deserves a GP appointment. Constipation is very treatable, and it is far easier to sort early than after months of holding on.